I Need A Lawyer Now!

J.J. Jackson | December 7, 2009 

It is official – CO2 is a dangerous substance and a threat to public health. Well, it is official in the minds of dumb as rocks liberals at the EPA who are running around exerting all sorts of unconstitutional power because Congress isn’t doing their jobs that is.

Yes, the EPA has made this ruling once again defying logic and any semblance of science to help further the nanny state.

With this new designation for CO2 I clearly need a lawyer and I need that lawyer now. Because with the government now telling me that CO2 is a threat to my health I need to file some lawsuits immediately.

First I need to sue myself. Yes, that is right – I need to sue myself! Because as a human being and a source of CO2, I am obviously putting my own life in danger and the government must intercede.

Second I have to sue God. Yes, that is right – I need to sue God! Because God put my mouth right under my nose forcing me to breath in the dangerous substance, as now declared so by the EPA, right after I exhale it.

Third I have to sue the United States. Yes, that is right – I need to sue the United States! Because the United States is a party to allowing people to live within its boarders and emit this dangerous substance at will. The United States, in order to be environmentally conscious, must close down its borders immediately and deport all people currently residing within its borders to other countries for the sake of all nature under its control.

Fourth I need to sue the United States a second time. Yes, that is right – a second time! Because after all CO2 emitting people are removed from within the boarders of the United States all other animals must be made to leave as well since they also emit CO2 and will destroy the environment in our absence. This cannot be tolerated and must be rectified!

Yes, I know all this sounds so silly. But it is the logical response to this boneheaded decision by the EPA which is designed to give us Cap and Trade without the Congress ever passing such a heinous plan. So I need a lawyer willing to help me make a statement about the idiocy of government.

Any takers?


Contributor's website: http://www.libertyreborn.com



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