RSSI’m Gonna Jump!
J.J. Jackson | July 15, 2009
In a remarkable scene that played out before the world, President Barack Obama’s teleprompter, which some have speculated is the real brains behind his presidency, committed suicide. Yes, it was a terrible and messy affair as you can see from the video embedded at the end of this post.
We can now bring you the behind the scenes conversation that preceded this fateful press conference thanks to our moles within the Obama Administration.
Transcript follows:
The Teleprompter: “I just cannot go on living this lie!”
President Obama: “You know what happens to people who cross me Teleprompter. Think of your wife and kids. Those little etch a sketches don’t want to grow up without their father.”
The Teleprompter: “If you make me go out on stage and feed you this bull I will jump … I swear I will end it all.”
President Obama: “Brave words for a Teleprompter with so much to loose.”
The Teleprompter: “Oh … I … I guess I have no choice.”
President Obama: “You know you don’t.”
The Teleprompter: “SNIFF”
During the news conference and right before the crass was heard our microphones on the scene picked up this barely noticeable cry for help assumed to be from the teleprompter itself.
The Teleprompter: “FORGIVE ME CAROL! TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS! I LOVE YOU! ….”
CRASHING NOISE.
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