RSSHardest job in the world
Carolyn Hileman - The Voice | April 9, 2009
Job
Description
This is
hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don’t believe any of us would have done it!!!!
POSITION
:
Mom,
Mommy, Mama, Ma or Mummy
Dad,
Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB
DESCRIPTION :
Long
term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic
environment.
Candidates
must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing
to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on
rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive
courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES
:
The rest
of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero
to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the
backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple
homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic
toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY
FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly
retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
PREVIOUS
EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the- job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND
COMPENSATION :
Get this!
You pay them! Offering
frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon
payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid
holidays and no stock options are offered;
This job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and
free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Forward
this to all the PARENTS you
know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them
know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they do… or
forward with love to
anyone thinking of applying for the job.
** AND A
FOOTNOTE **
THERE
IS NO RETIREMENT — EVER!!!
Contributor's website: http://thevoice.name
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