RSSThe Conservative And The Liberal
J.J. Jackson* | May 7, 2008 |
Early one morning the phone rang at Bob’s house. It was early on a Saturday and he had hoped to sleep in after a week of working hard but the ringing persisted and so he answer the phone. “Hello,” he answered wearily, annoyed that he had been disturbed.
“Hey you conservative jerk,” the voice on the other end yelled, “get up! Barack Obama is in town and going to prove to you that he can walk on water.”
“Jim? Is this you?”
Jim responded, “Just get your greedy little gun toting butt down to the pond in one hour! Barack Obama is going to show you!” and then hung up.
Bob, put his head back down on his pillow and thought for a few minutes about going back to sleep but then realized that this was something he had to see. Barack Obama walking on water? His friend Jim was so enamored with Obama’s ability to say anything and get away with it that he just had to see this event.
So Bob got up, put on his clothes and got into his SUV, making sure to fill up the gas tank on the way out to the pond. When he arrived he saw Jim standing among a crowd of others that had gathered cheering wildly as Barack Obama was waving from a small dock that extended out into the pond.
Bob said to his friend, “You know Jim, no mortal man can walk on water.”
“Shut up!” Jim blew up at him, “Why do you always have to let your hatred of black people come out?”
“How is pointing out that one cannot walk on water showing “hatred” to black people?”
“You know, we’ve been through this already! Obama has denounced Jeremiah Wright so stop making this about religion and stop attacking the black church.”
“What?” Bob responded perplexed. “Who said anything about Rev. Wright?”
“Just shut up, I can’t hear what Obama is saying.”
Just then a roar rose up from the crowd and Obama’s words echoed across the gathered faithful. “And now I will step out onto this pond and show you that I can indeed walk on water.” The crowd grew even more frenzied and Obama placed his first foot upon the water.
As he went to walk about onto the pond however – WHOOOSH – he vanished under the water. The crowd fell silent for a moment and then after a few seconds erupted into a round of applause as a soaking wet Barack Obama climbed back up onto the dock. He waved to them.
“See,” Bob said, “I told you.”
“Told me what? Didn’t you see what he did? He did it! He walked on water!”
“What? No he didn’t. He sank like a stone.”
“Whatever! We all saw him do it! You cannot deny how great he is!”
Bob pointed to where Obama stood, “Look at him, he’s soaking wet! He fell into the water and climbed out!”
“No, he walked on water! We all saw it! Didn’t we?” Jim encouraged the crowd around him to rebuke Bob.
“Yes!” those around them answered.
“Are you all insane?” Bob asked. “He most certainly did not walk on water!”
“We believe!” the crowd responded lead by Jim. “We have seen his greatness with our own eyes!”
Bob threw up his arms. “You are all most definitely insane; too drunk on Kool Aid to see what is clear before your eyes.”
“UNBELIEVER! UNBELIEVER! HERITIC!” Bob quickly turned and ran from the crowd that was now trying to close in around him. He jumped back in his SUV and left the scene of the madness as quickly as he could.
When he got home his wife asked him where he had been and he relayed the story about how Barack Obama fell into the pond yet all those gathered denied it and claimed he had walked on water.
She shook her head and said to him, “You know better than to ever hang around with a bunch of liberals. They never admit the truth, only what they want to believe.”
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On topic and intelligent comments are always welcome as are humorous observations. But liberal talking points with no basis in reality, off topic comments, spam and advertisements are not. Even though you may think you are an intelligent liberal, you probably are not. Keep this in mind as trolling is prohibited and will result in your comments not being approved and comments informing us how much we are a bunch of idiots because you say we are or espousing hate towards the truth are often moved directly to the official “I Hate You/You’re An Idiot” thread. Save us all the time and post there directly if you have a comment that would meet those criteria. Commenters reserve the right to mock claims about how liberal ideas, such as higher taxes, actually work and how conservative and right wingers, are NAZIs, racists, sexists, etc. and will do so with great regularity. By posting a comment you agree to abide by the rules of this site.
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