Symbolism Lost

J.J. Jackson* | May 28, 2008 

Boy, I tell you – there are a lot of people out there that can’t recognize sarcasm and symbolism when it is staring them straight in the face. My column last week (A Hooters Girl In Every Bed) has brought some of the absolute dumbest emails I have ever gotten sent to my mailbox.

Here’s a sample of the idiocy:

“I can’t believe that you are proposing that we should enslave men and women to breed a ‘master race’ to satisfy the sexual desires of American men and women!”

“This is the dumbest idea I have ever heard you little Hitler! How dare you want that people should have their freedom taken for your sexual pleasure!”

“Typical Right Wing stupidity – only a stupid wing nut like you would even propose concentration camps where Americans are made to serve at the whim of others.”

Yes indeed, and the emails keep rolling in from rabid leftists and basic dullards who actually think that the entire article was actually a serious suggestion that if you voted to make me President I would provide you your very own sex slave. The symbolism and the sarcasm was lost on a lot of people who should do us all a favor and stay home in November because they don’t have the candle power to vote intelligently if they take this sort of offense to a parody of every major Democrat’s (and most Republican’s) campaign for higher office.

The article was written to illicit certain realizations and impart certain lessons. Since those were lost on so many I suppose I will have to spoon feed them to these poor souls.

Lesson 1: “Hope” and “change” are just words – saying them over and over again accomplishes nothing. There is a reason why I spent the entire first half of this article just telling everyone how much I was for “hope” and how much I was for “change”. I wanted to parody (in particular) Barack Obama’s campaign where time and again he and his surrogates use these words repeatedly in place of actually discussing what he will do. What matters is what the “change” that is proposed is.

“Change” is not good because it is change as we learn after I actually get to my faux proposal.

Lesson 2: Politicians, particularly those of the liberal persuasion, often promise you “hope” and “change” at someone else’s expense. But apparently when it is taxing the vile rich and taking their property and their liberty that is ok judging by how some of the obviously liberal emailers responded. Many of the screeds contained admonishments directed at me for proposing that Hooters Girls and Chippendales Dancers be bred for the sexual pleasure of others while demanding that the rich be punished.

The loony who I quoted above calling me a “Wing Nut” for this proposal concluded his email saying, “What this country needs to do is work harder and going after the cannibalistic corporations that are oppressing their workers and taxing those that have gotten where tehy are on the backs of the people!”

Such claims were not atypical.

So it is apparently ok to take the rights and property of the “rich” but not of Hooters Girls and Chippendales Dances according to many of the liberals that responded? How insightful. If you think this, then are you any better than what you falsely believe me to be?

No your not.

Lesson 3: Most promises by politicians are empty.  Like I explained in my article, because I know that if such a program were instituted it would never hold true to its promise, don’t hold me accountable.  I set a far off time frame for its completion in my mock campaign address knowing full well that it would never be completed.  How many other programs presented by politicians promise you far off benefits?  How many of them have you seen?  How many of them are you worried about never seeing?

Think Social Security/Medicare.

But people will keep voting for these politicians anyway based on simply the promise.

Lesson 4: When in doubt, and when people point out how what you are doing is wrong, resort to name calling.

Conclusion:

The entire point of the article was to be as absurd as possible and act like a power hungry politician to show readers what the basics of any typical campaign is like. “Put your hopes in me and I’ll better your life by taking something from someone else and giving it to you and maybe at some point in the future you will see what I am promising but don’t hold your breath. I’m Joe Blow politician running for political office and I approve this message.”

And people keep voting for them every election cycle.


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Comments

2 Responses to “Symbolism Lost”

  1. Jo on May 28th, 2008 2:28 pm

    Wonder how many Harvard Grades where in the “I don’t get it” department?

  2. Jo on May 28th, 2008 2:37 pm

    Guads I mean … I didn’t graduate from Harvard — I’m not educated LOL

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