What John Kerry Really Meant To Say

J.J. Jackson* | November 2, 2006

Actual Statement:
“You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.”

What he meant to say:
“You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck serving a Big Mac.”

“You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you won’t get cut any slack.”

“You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck selling crack.”

“You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck being a political hack. Like me.”

“You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck herding yak.”

“You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck putting groceries in a plastic sack.”

“You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck lost in the Adirondacks.”

“You know, I’m not really sure what I should say but I know it should be something about the value of a good education, but you know I didn’t do all that well in college and look at me. I was a contender for the Presidency of the United States! How crazy is that! I mean wow! I’ve spent my whole life since Vietnam living a lie and trashing the troops whenever I get the chance so who would have thought that would be possible. I mean look at Teddy Kennedy. He killed a girl, left the scene, didn’t tell anyone, went home, got a good night sleep and then held a press conference the next day. And he couldn’t get elected dog catcher outside of Massachusetts. And I even admitted to being a war criminal! Any way, what was I saying? I seem to have lost my train of thought. That’s ok though because I’m John Kerry. Did I mention I served in Vietnam? Because you know I did. Just listen to the sound of my voice and be glad that I wasn’t elected President and have to deal with that mess the United Nations had going on in Iraq.”

Unfit for Command: Swift Boat Veterans Speak Out Against John Kerry

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Authors:John E. O’Neill, Jerome R. Corsi
Manufacturer:Regnery Publishing, Inc.
Released:August, 2004

Unhinged: Exposing Liberals Gone Wild

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Authors:Michelle Malkin
Manufacturer:Regnery Publishing, Inc.
Released:24 October, 2005

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