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Nationwide Liberal Suicide Alert Level Raised

J.J. Jackson* | June 13, 2006 

This morning the National Liberal Suicide Alert Level was raised. Instituted after liberals showed us how frail their intellects are by rushing to the couch following Al Gore’s loss in 2000 and, the NLSAL was taken from it’s long standing alert status of “seriously contemplating” to “IMMINENT!” The system was designed to let the rest of America know when to expect liberals to snap since most of us have lives and real jobs to get to on a daily basis and cannot be bothered with trying to ascertain the mental state of the left.

The cause of today’s change in alert level was due to special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald. He announced that Karl Rove would not be indicted in his on going investigation as to who non-leaked the non-classified name of a non-covert agent whose nonsensical husband apparently blabbed about her often to anyone that would listen.

The left was sure that Karl Rove would not only be indicted but that he would also be found guilty and “frog marched” off to prison. Their hearts are broken. They are still desperately seeking some sort of scandal after their idol Bill Clinton was impeached and are bound and determined to get even.

The news today comes as a shock to those on the left who get their news via left wing kook web sites like Daily KOS and have been fed a steady stream of half-truths and down right lies.

Some of you are probably wondering what you should do now that the alert level has been raised. Well, while it was still at “seriously considering” you should have secured all potential weapons and means of taking one?s life except for guns because liberals wouldn’t be caught dead using a gun. That means, knives, rope, baseball bats, etc.

But now that the alert level has been raised to “IMMINENT!” there is not much you can do. They already have their means of suicide chosen. Best that you just wait the situation out and be ready to console those that either could not bring themselves to do it or tried repeatedly to stab themselves but missed because there was not an agent of the nanny state there to help them figure out how to do it properly.

Unhinged : Exposing Liberals Gone Wild (Book) Authors:Michelle Malkin Manufacturer:Regnery Publishing, Inc. Released:24 October, 2005

Godless: The Church of Liberalism (Book) Authors:Ann Coulter Manufacturer:Crown Forum Released:06 June, 2006

Contributor's website: http://www.libertyreborn.com




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